Life Questions and Faith in the Unknown
(7.9.2017)
I sit here staring at the screen. A million things running through my head. Where am I going? What am I doing? Am I really doing anything at all? Or am I just using this self-expression as a way of getting out of the hard work it takes to get a job? Is writing my new profession? My career? I have no way of knowing the answers. I have to trust in the unknown. I believe that whatever was meant to be will be - it will find a way.
(7.10.2017)
So I wait two days and I receive two phone calls about jobs. This gave me enough time to think about incorporating my writing into my days. I must schedule time to write. Everyday. And post every day.
I'm trying to find my boundaries. Trying to find who I am, amidst a relationship in question and a teenage boy pushing back on the boundaries I set. We've never really agreed on our parenting styles. I've always been told I have too many restrictions on my kids, from my parents to their father. Now more recently, today, in fact, he finally is on the same page with me on this boundary thing. And the boy is pissed. I had to contain my laughter when he walked into my room making a statement about how I've ruined his dad. All over boundaries we are setting as parents. Boundaries we've never really done well at in the past. Trying to find balance in my life as I walk upon shaky ground, unsure if the floor will fall beneath me. Finding the courage to focus on one day at a time.
I've been trying to focus my attention on me, working through my past issues that keep pushing or holding me back. I'm determined to break through whatever is causing me to pause and face it head on.
Nike has the perfect slogan, Just Do It. I can wait for the perfect time. Wait until I am more organized. Wait until I know what is going on in my relationship. Wait until I find a higher paying job. I'm done waiting. I started my journey into the social services field back in 2009 as a birthday present to myself. Here I am, closing in on ten years since my love for writing and sharing my story began. I can easily share life stories with smaller groups but struggle with what to say in most of my blogs.
Here I am finding my way through this thing called life. And I've never been more scared. It's been said that if it scares you, it means you should do it. Take a leap of faith, trust your instincts, and jump.
I sit here staring at the screen. A million things running through my head. Where am I going? What am I doing? Am I really doing anything at all? Or am I just using this self-expression as a way of getting out of the hard work it takes to get a job? Is writing my new profession? My career? I have no way of knowing the answers. I have to trust in the unknown. I believe that whatever was meant to be will be - it will find a way.
(7.10.2017)
So I wait two days and I receive two phone calls about jobs. This gave me enough time to think about incorporating my writing into my days. I must schedule time to write. Everyday. And post every day.
I'm trying to find my boundaries. Trying to find who I am, amidst a relationship in question and a teenage boy pushing back on the boundaries I set. We've never really agreed on our parenting styles. I've always been told I have too many restrictions on my kids, from my parents to their father. Now more recently, today, in fact, he finally is on the same page with me on this boundary thing. And the boy is pissed. I had to contain my laughter when he walked into my room making a statement about how I've ruined his dad. All over boundaries we are setting as parents. Boundaries we've never really done well at in the past. Trying to find balance in my life as I walk upon shaky ground, unsure if the floor will fall beneath me. Finding the courage to focus on one day at a time.
I've been trying to focus my attention on me, working through my past issues that keep pushing or holding me back. I'm determined to break through whatever is causing me to pause and face it head on.
Nike has the perfect slogan, Just Do It. I can wait for the perfect time. Wait until I am more organized. Wait until I know what is going on in my relationship. Wait until I find a higher paying job. I'm done waiting. I started my journey into the social services field back in 2009 as a birthday present to myself. Here I am, closing in on ten years since my love for writing and sharing my story began. I can easily share life stories with smaller groups but struggle with what to say in most of my blogs.
Here I am finding my way through this thing called life. And I've never been more scared. It's been said that if it scares you, it means you should do it. Take a leap of faith, trust your instincts, and jump.
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