Raeven's Den

Life has a way of testing me. It will poke me in the ribs once or twice to test my reaction. My reaction to life’s poking has changed since I was a young adolescent. I went from reacting on feeling, to reacting on impulse, to learning to control my emotions. It has been a long, difficult, and challenging road but I am thankful that I traveled this road. I am sad to end a chapter in my life, but excited to begin a new one. As life changes ever so quickly, I often have to stop to remind myself of a few things I wish I could have told myself when I was younger. My new motto in life is “everything affects everything."

1. Do not take life for granted 

    Experience everything you can while you are young. Smell the roses, breathe in fresh clean air, get out and enjoy life and the wonders that surround you. Everything you do affects everyone you come in contact with, no matter how small a moment it may be. Enjoy the small rewards, each smile, laugh, and joyful moment. You will need to recall them for times when you doubt yourself. Trust me, it will happen. But reflecting on all those precious moments in life can help you remain positive and strive for more. Be thankful for what you have and what you were given. Your life experiences make you special, unique, and one of a kind. Treasure that, bottle it, and be thankful each day.

2. Take risks! 

    You will never know what you can accomplish without taking a risk. It will change you. Only you can decide how to perceive that change and use it to your advantage. Remember to weigh the pros and cons against the risk before jumping to impulse. Risks are the moments in life you want to recall to learn from; if it worked, it is likely to work again. If it didn’t work, try and try again. You will never know what you can accomplish until you have failed.

3. Trust your instincts. 

    If it feels wrong, it probably is. If it just feels right, and you have no idea why, trust your instinct. Nine times out of ten your instinct will lead you to where you need to be in life. But be aware, impulse can sometimes get confused with instinct. They are two separate things; remember to reflect often to remind your-self of your goals, wishes, dreams, and desires.

4. Be honest with yourself. 

    No matter how difficult it may be, always, always, always, be honest with yourself. When you are honest with yourself, only then can you reach the success planned in life.

5. Ask for nothing but question everything. 

    Trust no one and yet trust everyone. Confused yet? Good, then I have your attention. Questions bring solutions, which are found after experimenting. Trust yourself – find something that gives you the self-confidence you need to accomplish your goals while remaining true to your values and morals. Trusting yourself to make the right decisions while remaining cautious about others is only natural. You may encounter a situation that makes life difficult. Trusting yourself and asking questions can help resolve any difficult situation.

6. Stretch and strengthen your mind. 

    Read everything you can that will help you accomplish your personal and professional goals in life. Learn something new every day. Share that knowledge with at least one person. Know that you are influencing others around you with your knowledge. Step out of your comfort zone once in awhile to stretch your mind. Keep an open mind. You never know what may happen in life that requires an open mind. Something you once believed to be negative may actually improve your life.

7. You can always go home. 

    No matter what happens in life. You can always go to a place that feels like home. Weigh that option with your current life status and decide logically which gives you more motivation to succeed in life. Going home is not a bad thing; in fact, it can bring you to a closer understanding of those you call home; something you will need in your future. Trust me. And you may or may not know why. That’s okay because as life changes, so do the relationships.

8. Live your life with love. 

    Leave the shame, guilt, and hurt at the door and decide to live your life filled with love and acceptance. Make positive changes in your life and you will be richly rewarded with an abundance of love, support, acceptance, and understanding. Resist the changes in your life and experiences will continue to challenge and poke you until you listen. Let love guide your way through the negative emotions and you will become stronger than you thought possible.

9. Share your knowledge. 

    Never forget where you came from; share your experiences in life with others in hopes of touching at least one life. Understand when you are successful, and enjoy those little moments of success before striving for more. There is a fine line between sharing your knowledge and sharing your life. You will probably struggle with that for many years. You can thank your mother for that one. Once you find that line, please share it with my thirty-something self; I don’t think she has found it yet.

10. Love yourself. 

    Never settle for less than what you think you deserve; strive for more than what you think you deserve because you are worth it. Love yourself enough to know your limits and trust yourself in overcoming those limits gracefully. Love yourself enough to know when you need help.

Do not make yourself suffer in silence because no one understands. Someone does, and that someone will always be there to help you – your mom. I know how crazy that sounds, given my history with my mother. But you will realize that some day.