It Happened At Bingo

3/10/2018 Saturday

While working at the VFW today, a group of women were sitting at a high top table, celebrating birthdays.

One of the ladies looked so familiar to me, I couldn't stop thinking of who she was and where I knew her from.

I had told her she looked familiar and asked a few questions in attempt to figure out why she was so familiar to me.

When returning to their table a third time, it was really bothering me who this lady is and where I know her from - so, I start again on how I have a thing for remembering people's faces (names, not so much but if you've made an impact on my life, I'll remember your face).

After more digging, we realize who we are to each other! She likely realized before I did, as she began asking who my parents are....then explain to me how I know her.

I wanted to ask her if she was American Indian but I was busy and unsure how she would respond. Knowing now who she is, brings tears to my eyes.

I was once close to her family. Her brother, I believe, married my aunt. They divorced more than 20 years ago. It had been at least 26/30 years since I've last seen her.

She asked about my parents, and that's where my mouth took over and I said,
"Well, he's really not my dad. Especially now since he did what he did."

"What did he do? " she wanted to know.

"He sexually abused my daughter...for about seven years....from the time she was around 5 or 7 until she was 13. She didn't tell us until she was 15, 16 years old."

Yep. I said it. Out loud. To someone who was once close to the family. I didn't say it all at once; it was gradual as she asked more questions. The point is, I said it and it was the first time that I've ever felt as though I've 'owned it' or rather accepted it.

And it felt good. I didn't get stuck in the memories or feelings, I just talked to her like I would any other customer but with a bit more history involved.

I believe being at work helped keep my focus on my customers and their needs. Not giving time or space to the past but rather focusing my energy on giving out good energy around me.

At the end of the evening and multiple bingo wins later, the ladies decided it was time to head home. Before leaving, farewells are said, and hugs given.

Today, I was blessed with a visit from someone from my past, who may have given me the boost I needed to accept and conquer the battles I've been avoiding or fighting internally.